The Hound of Heaven

I would like to share with you an excerpt from a poem.  It was written by a drug addict and a drop-out.  It was also written over one hundred years ago.

Francis Thompson was a brilliant man.  He dropped out of medical college and became addicted to opium, spending most of the rest of his life on the streets.  He read newspapers he picked out of garbage cans and wrote letters to the editor.  The editors said, “A genius greater than Milton is among us,” but he wrote anonymously so no one knew who he was.  Eventually he made acquaintances with a couple who had some of his poetry published.

Thompson spent his entire life running from God, but in his last year on this earth he came to faith in Jesus Christ.  The Hound of Heaven relates his life’s struggle.  He was looking for love yet failed to see that the very One who could give him that love was the God he was running from.  Only God could fulfill that need in his life.  “Don’t you know that when you run from me you run from love?” God says.

I too can relate to this poem.  I am so thankful that the Hound of Heaven continued to pursue me until I was made his own.

I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes, I sped;
And shot, precipitated
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbed pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat–and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet -
“All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.”…

…Now of that long pursuit
Comes on at hand the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
“And is thy earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?
Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!

“Strange, piteous, futile thing!
Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of naught” (He said),
“And human love needs human meriting:
How hast thou merited -
Of all man’s clotted clay the dingiest clot?
Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee,
Save Me, save only Me?
All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms,
But just that thou might’st seek it in My arms.
All which thy child’s mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for thee at home:
Rise, clasp My hand, and come.”
Halts by me that footfall:
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
“Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me.”

Stuffed Mushroom Caps

1/2 small onion
1/2 green pepper
12 small mushrooms
1/4 cup cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350.  Carefully clean mushrooms with a wet paper towel or vegetable brush (do not run under water as this will remove their flavor).  Remove stems and place bottom side up on a baking sheet.  Dice half of one small onion and half of one green bell pepper.  Spoon onion and pepper into mushroom caps.  Top with grated cheddar cheese.  Bake 15 minutes.

Zesty Potato Salad

6 potatoes, cooked and cubed
2 ribs celery, chopped
1/2 onion, diced
Helman’s mayonnaise
Brianna’s Homestyle Zesty French Dressing (or other favorite dressing)

Refrigerate cooked potatoes until cooled.  Cube and toss potatoes, celery and onion into a bowl.  In separate bowl, mix together mayo and dressing to taste.  When you’re satisfied with the flavor, pour over salad and stir until evenly distributed.  Serve.

Biblical Womanhood: A Challenge (plus a few thoughts)

As my third wedding anniversary approaches (and will arrive on June 9), I have desired to write down my experience of learning how to be a wife.  I am finding this is easier said than done.  So as I struggle to find the words to be transparent about my struggles and victories over these last three years, I would like to encourage you to take challenge that has greatly encouraged me.

Last November in Chicago, Illinois, Nancy Leigh DeMoss of Revive Our Hearts hosted the first ever True Woman conference.  This has sparked a movement as Christian women are seeking God’s plan for their lives in their roles as women, wives and mothers.  On her website Nancy has a 30-day True Woman Make-Over where she goes through Proverbs 31 and talks about what a godly woman looks like.  Each day for 30 days you will receive an email with the day’s main points as well as a link to that’s day’s message.  I have also appreciated this message, The Most Influential People In The World,  given by John Piper at the conference.

I hope that you will be as blessed by these messages as I have been.

Child-Friendly, Chemical-Free Cleaning and Avoiding Cross-Contamination

I don’t know how things can be called “cleaners” if they’re not safe for my children to come into contact with after I’ve used them to clean the house.  Out of concern for this I’ve learned a few chemical free ways to keep the house maintained:

-  Shampoo or nice-smelling bubble bath makes a great tub and shower cleaner.  It takes a little more elbow grease than Clorox if things are really scummy, but it really works.

- Dish soap instead of Pine-Sol is a great floor cleaner.  Again it takes a little more elbow grease but does the job well.  This is especially good if you have to ring out the mop with your hands and may have to drop it to go pick up the baby, which is not safe to do if you have Pine-Sol or other cleaners on your hands.

- Just plain hot water is great for mirrors.  My daughter likes to touch the tall mirror in the hallway so I was concerned about using Windex and having the possibility of her getting some on her hands and then passing it onto the food she eats.  Cleaning with hot water and then drying with a cloth or paper towel is just as effective.  For the streak-free results I’ve found it best to dry in a circular motion.

- For the toilet I will use a toilet bowl cleaner and brush, but another great way to keep the bowl clean and smelling nice comes when you flush your mop water.  If you use nice-smelling dish soap to mop your floor, when you get rid of the water it cleans everything out and the smell also tends to remain.

One other concern with cleaning is the danger of cross-contamination.  This should especially be given attention with young infants.

- When washing baby’s dishes, use a separate sponge or cloth from the one you use to clean the rest of the dishes.  Your sponge may contain bacteria harmful to baby – for example, it may have come into contact with the bacteria from raw meats when washing a dish used to prepare food – and baby having their own sponge eliminates this risk

- Always wash your hands after cleaning.  You don’t want to be holding baby after you’ve gotten dirt and grime all over your hands.  This is especially true after cleaning the bathroom as it is a breading ground for germs, and after cleaning the toilet as you will usually use a chemical cleaner for that.

- You may also want to change your clothes after you’ve used chemical cleaners.  You may have gotten some of the cleaner on your clothes through spraying or splashing, and it is not safe for baby to come into contact with these.

- When you need to use chemical cleaners such as toilet-bowl cleaner or Ajax, it is best to wait until after baby has gone to sleep because you are less likely to have to drop what you’re doing to grab them.  This also leaves time to wash your hands thoroughly in hot soapy water to ensure cleanliness when you’re done.

Easy Chocolate Banana Smoothie

This morning I tried a variation on the smoothie I made yesterday morning.  Very yummie!

1 large banana
4 heaping tablespoons vanilla yogurt
1 cup chocolate milk
2 ice cubes

Blend together for 1 minute.  Serve immediately.

I’m wondering if this would work as a hot drink by preparing hot chocolate and adding that to the blender instead of ice and chocolate milk.  Maybe I’ll try that tomorrow.

Easy Banana Smoothies

Yesterday morning I tried to make a smoothie for the first time. It turned out really good. Here’s the recipe:

1 large banana
4 heaping tablespoons vanilla yogurt
1 cup orange juice
2 ice cubes

Blend together for 1 minute. Serve immediately.

What Do You Do With Your Spare Time?

Something happened yesterday that rarely does – there was no baby in the room with me.  My husband took her outside for a walk.  So I stood there thinking about what I should do with this free time I had, knowing that it would only be a few minutes.  I could read… I could blog… I could do those dishes that have piled up… And guess what I did.  Yep, the dishes.  And then they were back, even before I had finished.  Jane is 15 months old now, and takes up most of my time.  On top of that I have started studying again through Distance Education to finish my degree (I have completed 3 years full-time on campus, and taken a year off when I had Jane).  I don’t get to blog every day like I used to.  Actually my last couple posts on Minds2Mentes have been a month or more apart.  Seeing as blogging is a serious ministry for me, one that has been highly encouraged by my husband for the last year and a half, I really need to get better at economizing my time so I can get back on track with posting regularly.  I blogged every day for the first year, and then it all fell to pieces.

Humility and Spiritual Renewal

These last month has been a time of spiritual renewal for me. I hit a point where I was feeling completely overwhelmed with life and disconnected from my Lord. So I downsized my usual blog-load on Minds2Mentes to three times a week instead of five to take of some pressure, and most-importantly resolved to get up earlier to spend time with the Lord in prayer and reading the Word. I also resolved to focus more reading on the deeper Christian life and marriage and less on apologetics for this season of growth.

The first two weeks were difficult as I was feeling tremendous resistance in my pursuit of a deeper relationship with God. Then I felt like I turned a corner. The root of much spiritual dessert is pride. It is easy to think you are strong enough to make it on your own, without taking sufficient time to pray and read the Bible to seek the face and will of God. It is also easy to take on a rebellious attitude against your husband instead of trusting his judgments and decisions. Pride is at the root of these things. It’s amazing what a little humility can do. Asking for forgiveness and humbling yourself in submission to God and husband can be the secret to renewing those relationships with God and husband.

So it has been in my case. While it is still difficult to get up early in the mornings, I have been spending much more time in prayer and the Word, and in reading things that are building me up spiritually instead of only “logical stuff.” I often quote C.S. Lewis when he said, “You cannot always be defending the Truth. You must also take time to feast on it.”

I’ve been extremely blessed by this spiritual growth. I have felt myself reconnected to my Lord in ways that I haven’t felt in a long time. Prayers are being answered and wisdom has been granted when I have just humbled myself and asked (James 1:5).

Humility has lead to better communication and deeper intimacy in my marriage relationship with my husband as well. I have been able to discuss things with him that have previously remained unsaid, and dealt with issues that have been growing like weeds for far too long, both in my person and our relationship.

God is great!

A Woman’s Fear of Losing Her Identity

This week I was reading a small book of two Dorothy Sayers essays, the major one being Are Women Human. In that essays she writes about the roles of women in society, what they have been, are, and should be. One of the things she said is that women have lost their identities as things they have traditionally done have been “given to the men,” leaving them with nothing to do. So instead of being useful members of society, women have become mere homemakers, trophies on a shelf, or else busybodies.

I am no feminist. I believe women may work outside the home, but that a wife’s primary role is to take care of the home. Still, I agree with much of what Sayers’ points and conclusions were. (Perhaps it should be noted that even she was reluctant to be associated with feminism as it is traditionally and stereotypically portrayed.)

In my own life and marriage I have struggled with the notion of losing my identity. Currently I am unable to finish my education, and struggled to find any time at all to myself (right now Jane is napping, so I have had a few awesome minutes to pray and to write). I have sometimes feared that if I fully submerge myself in housekeeping and motherhood I will lose my God-given intellect, and love of learning, reading and writing on apologetics and philosophy. In short, I fear losing myself – my identity, who I am.

So I have prayed about this.

I am not losing myself in embracing fully wifehood and motherhood. I am actually not losing myself at all, but embracing more of who God has made me to be. I am a writer and a student, but also a wife and mother – also, not either/or.

The Lord Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant will also be. My Fahter will honor the one who serves me” (John 12:24-26). In submitting to God’s will for my life, he actually enhances all the areas of my life and ministry that he has sovereignly created. When I leave myself in God’s hands, he produces the fruit in all areas. So in once sense I am losing myself, but only in order to gain who I truly am, that is who God has created me to be. A seed was not meant to stay a seed, but to die in order to create more fruit and more seeds. So it is with the Christian – both man and woman. One loses the self to gain true life and fulfillment in Christ Jesus. That life and fulfillment includes those things we are created to do.

Praise God that though we die, we do live! I am losing myself, but in doing so I am actually finding myself and finding life! There is no fear in this. And what a joy it is to see all that the Lord can do with a surrendered life!

The hymn I Surrender All was the song that was playing when I gave my life to Christ. It resounds as much today as it did then:

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust him,
In his presence daily live.

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.